every perceived unlovable person,

has something lovable inside of them,

waiting to be discovered.

the most lovable person,

can be unlovable at times,

waiting to be revealed.

the most amazing lent ever

Day 1 - Meet and greet and discuss.

Day 2 - Persecution by a close friend and Reconcilation with an enemy. Testimonies thrown all around. Witnessing the gospel shared openly among my friends.

Day 3 - Prayer fellowship with ppl i've studied with for 4 years but only mostly talked to during this trip. A partnership with a godly sister. A vision for law school to all worship the Lord together.

Day 4 - Putting my love to the test.

Day 5 - who knows?

i've never expected my Law Study Mission to be this amazing. Tomorrow, a big group of us (including the cool kids who party and smoke) are going for Easter celebrations at Notre Dame together.

And all this is happening in a country where there is much religious suppression.

God is moving so powerfully, it's amazing.

VIETNAM DAY 2

XINCHAO!

Amazing. This trip has been more fruitful in more ways than I could ever imagine.

Tonight, Cute Girl and I changed plans again and again and we finally decided we will go Old Quarters with Cool Girl and Queer Girl. For no other reason then the fact that we liked hanging out with them. So we went. And had good food and good funny nonsensical conversations. We clicked, basically. And it helped that all of us were Christians.

But then came the killer of the night… 2 powerful testimonies shot at us back-to-back.

Firstly, Cool Girl told me her story (which she already told Cute Girl and Queer Girl). When she was in sec sch, her whole family were buddhists, except her brother who went to his girlfriend’s church.

One new year’s eve, the brother went out and came back late and had a huge quarrel with her parents. And she was so scared, she was in the room crying and praying for God to change her family.

The next day (or the day after) her brother got into a major car accident and suffered brain damage. Her family was told he’ll never walk again. Her brother had been a star arts and science student and star sportsman (about to become national chairman of a certain sports club). While in the hospital, a monk came to pray for them and Cool Girl’s dad asked her if she felt comfortable with him doing that and she said no and suggested going to church – the church Cool Girl’s brother was in.

So they did.

One day, an elder came and visited the family. He talked to the mom and dad and Cool Girl was in another room. She prayed to God that she would believe in him if her results were good enough to go JC. The next thing she knew, her dad walked into her room and told her he and her mom were accepting Christ and whether she wanted to.

It’s now 7 years after the accident. Her brother can’t really talk properly and is a little socially awkward. But he can walk, run, swim, jump. He studied in La-Selle, School of Fine Arts which his family sent him to after they realized he communicated through drawings.

And Cool Girl told these all in her stable, low voice, her voice being the very symbol of her personality and attitude towards the event which she has since come to terms with.

I was really truly touched by this and wanted to cry. There is so much sorrow in our world, but so much hope in the Lord. I wanted to cry for her brother and her family’s pain, yet I wanted to cry for joy over their faith and salvation even in dry and difficult periods like these.

Next, came Queer Girl’s story. Queer Girl came from a family which had an atheist dad and a Christian mom. And they never stopped quarreling. And she hated it and wonder why they were like that and how two ppl could hold polar stands with such conviction. She was always faced with the realization that her stand on Christianity was a personal one, one she couldn’t just “adopt” from her mom or dad. And that if she took either, she’ll run the risk of displeasing the other. Queer Girl faced something we all face in much more drastic and pressurizing conditions and it drove her into a search for intellect and reasoning and the answers to which she would take.

Queer Girl is really quite queer. In fact I’ve talked about her before on the blog. She’s quite angsty and according to her words, has done all sorts of crazy things before. Riding downhill on a bike in a rainy day and skidding right into the path of an oncoming vehicle that didn’t see her, yet stopped. Slept on park benches. Been chased around with a parang. Those were in the very days that I had been busy complaining about her and feeling uncomfortable around her.

She was a troublemaker in church in her sec school days and a back bencher. As a back bencher, she kept bumping into this random middle-aged lady who talked to her and soon asked her out for a meal.

They went on their first outing to an ice kachang place where the lady made Queer Girl angry, and in her anger, she poked the spoon violently into her ice kachang and the icecream fell straight into the lady’s lap. The lady took it nicely and asked her out again.

Queer Girl is an intellect and an avid reader. The lady was not. Yet Queer Girl attested to her very real and true faith in practice, that she could role model.

I could cry for this lady of great strength and who is so deeply loved by my Lord. She was shunned by me in her hardest times. Yet my Lord loves her so much to reach out to her in a very unique way that her personality needs over a long period of time. And he has changed her so much too! She’s mellowed down and made herself open and vulnerable to me tonight. Something I could never have imagined facing off with her some time ago. And although she doesn’t look it, she’s beautiful. A construction work in progress.

And she’s incited so many thoughts in me! The battle between intellect and spirituality is a fallacy! Intellect may very well lead to spirituality as well.

And I’m so well-placed where I am, so well-placed in law school to reach out to the elitists and the intellects. Yet I have not valued my position and privilege and taken full stewardship over it.

There have been so many gems and treasures lying around law school and I never picked up on them due to my inwardness!

I was just telling Cute Girl (or rather during prayer, I prayed) how the LSM is really like a pilgrammage of sort for me, for both of us. The Lord is leading us from one thing to another and we have each other as partners. And what more, during Lent Week. My God is so real, and so loving.

I remember praying that my trip would be a fruitful one… It’s definitely a prayer answered.

xin chao!

flying off to vietnam for a school trip tml and i'm finally getting just a teeny weeny bit excited. or at least, my negative feelings are being neutralized.

the 1st 3 hours as an adult

i saw her waving at me from a distance, a bright smile plaster on her face, her right arm wrapped around a clipboard.

"the 2 most hated people in the world are telemarketers and evangelists," someone once told me.

they forgot to add, surveyors to the list.

i decided to stop and give her the time of day, learning from my life-changing encounter with a HSBC salesman on 120810 before my korean class.

surveyors are human too.

fatimah was a "professional" from one of the charities and she bubbly and enthusiastically took 5 minutes to share with me the whole background of the charity she represented and it's various activities using pamphlets on her clipboard.

she was so cheery and bouncy, i felt tired for her. esp considering how many rejections she had to face daily. and how many times she had to smile to said rejectors who did not wish to waste their precious time listening to her "sell" whatever she was selling.

she turned to the last page of her pamphlet, and hard sold a donation plan to me which had potentially "bonded" me for 3 years at a rate of ~$1 daily.

i hesitated. and told her i wanted to go back to think about it. and i seriously did, i was not just saying it to get rid of her.

"oh, but why i want to encourage you to consider signing up now is because you'll be saving one person TODAY if you do." The Morality Argument.

"right. i still want to go back and think about it. if i wanted to, i could log on to the website of the charity right?"

perhaps she thought i was cold hearted, coz she immediately changed-up her argument.

"oh yes. but you see, we want to save you time. So if you just sign my form now, it's so much easier. there's this reference code, that you can trace back to me. and i will issue you a receipt as well." The Cost-Efficiency Argument (the very subject-matter of my LAST legal exam)

"right. i still want to go back and think about it." was this woman earning commission on getting me to sign the form or what?

and den she upped the argument again. "oh you're starting work soon right? then i've got good news for you. your donations are tax-deductible and it'll really benefit you." Adam Smith lives on.

and den i thought to myself, while once again turning her down, how terrible Singaporeans were to need self-interested motivations to instill charitableness in their actions. and also, how ingenuous charities were getting in the way they trained their staff to persuade once they've captured the passer-by's attention.

our society is perplexing wonderful yet disappointing.

it would be a nightmare if my nightmare last night came true.

the fact that i had that nightmare last night, is a nightmare in itself.

do u think ur dreams reflect your subconscience and the true state of your heart?

this is choucroutte

kill me now.

one step closer

i'm almost a lawyer. i can smell it.

oh my... i've so picked the wrong career. 1 hour with financial and securities regulations and im already all fidgety. this is TERRIBLE!

should i watch it in digital next?

one of my favourite cinematic scenes in the movie. it lasted less than 2 seconds.

sweet pea, i love you so. i love how u're so beautiful and ur hair is so pretty yet ur mannerisms and voice tone can be so subtly guyish.

i feel absolutely infatuated with this movie. it's crazy.

"We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that your ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourseles n every way... with weapons of righteousness in the right hand in the left." [2 Cor 6: 3 - 4, 7]

Suckerpunch, much?

You have all the weapons you need. Now, fight.

-------------------

i want to talk about a boy (again). and then i want to contradict myself.

here goes.

it was my last language class. we were suppose to present on culture. i presented on dating. He presented on food. And he actually cooked the dish and brought it to class for us to try. full marks for class participation!

throughout the other presentations, he kept directing questions at the other food presentation, asking questions and saying things about dish preparation. it was so cute.

even prior to this last class, i had already kind of noticed him. he sat behind me. he had a tan, and a nice dimply smile with a chiselled jaw. his eyes were very chinese and smiley. and he was quite calm yet cheery.

i never expected him to be such a dedicated cook.

oh, how i love unpredictability, surprises and TALENT!

during my presentation, i found myself constantly looking at him and it especially fuelled me to see him throw back a dimply smile at me when i said something funny. however, i might have scared him away with the subtle feminine nuances going on in my script.

during the class break, i went to thank him for cooking for us.

that was it. never to see him again. aww. don't care. teehee.

---------------------

in other news, i dreamt last night that i was attached and on a mission with my boyfriend to go destroy some light tower in Malaysia. We had to walk through miles and miles of this ultra, mega, huge shopping centre that apparently connected Singapore to Malaysia HAHAHA. up numerous flights of escalators, to get to the light tower, where we tried to smash the lights.

when i woke up, the first thing that occurred to me was how boring and sian it was to be attached. and i found it so sian, i was grossed out by the idea of it.

the boy i was attached to is definitely somebody i know and am quite close to. but i can't exactly recall who exactly it was. SO MYSTERIOUS. but it had nothing to do with who he was. just the idea of being attached was so... sian.

another fun fact was remembering the shops i stopped to look at during my dream. i stopped twice at soft-toy shops. And honestly, i'm not a very soft-toy kind of person (unless it's a unicorn or a carebear) so i have no other why i did that in my dream. there was a whole section of carebears though, so maybe that's why.

and i remember one weird soft-toy that i saw, which was a carebear's head on cookie monster's body, shaped as a bolster. so strange.

-------------------

so the conclusion of this is that i like boys but i do not want to get attached. i like this state of my life.

no boys to like, quite boring.

like too much, also kenna heartbroken.

attached already, also very boring (i probably only think this way coz there's no one i particularly like right now).

I was bored with studying, so i went to check out what mummy was watching on TV.

Mummy: "You want to watch criminal minds? I leave the recording on for you."

Kim: "Ok. But there must be no sex. No blood..."

Mummy: *face distorts* "It's criminal minds, what do you expect???"

I burst out laughing at her facial distortion.

i ate cashew nuts for a period of time. it convinced me that peanuts didn't taste that good.

it worked.

now, i don't eat both.

jokes

i've been trying to search for Revelation Bible Study material. heard from a friend of a really good series by a US ministry that had a branch in Singapore.

I went to tecman with her to look it up. They didn't have the Revelation series.

1 week later, i decided to sign up online at the Ministry website and order the book. Wahlao shipping costs as much as the book.

I search for the local ministry website.

found it. Wow, the books sure look familiar. my dad has many of it's titles (and multiples of the same copy!) on his bookshelf.

where's the order button for the book?

hmm... maybe i should check where their office is.

2nd floor, of a familiar building - my dad's office. my dad's colleague is the member of that very ministry - Precepts Ministry.

Dooh.