in love with an idea

bff and i sat at the marble tables, hogging the powerpoint to ourselves. along he came, with 2 huge bags - one haversack, one sling. his hairstyle was chinese. and hence, i deduced he was from china. he walked up to the powerpoint, looked around for a while, den walked away.

i went after him and told him we could share. but he had found another one.

later he came over and requested to share. the other one was not working. his voice was chinese-accented alright.

we unplugged and gave the powerpoint over. multiplugs didn't work with him. his laptop and it's wire was foreign. and hence, i deduced he was a foreigner.

he sat for a while at the adjacent table. and den walked over to the powerpoint with his own multi-plug, fiddled with it and helped plug bff's laptop back. he smiled over.

how nice of him. and how nice his smile is.

later, another guy came over to speak to us, wanting to share the power point. once again, bff unplugged her com and gave the power point over.

Chinese Foreigner, after a minute of 2, once again walked over and fiddled with the multiplugs. it looked like a puzzle game (i love my itouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!). and helped plug bff's laptop back.

how very very nice and attentive of him.

he asked us to take care of his stuff as he went away for a while. he smiled.

we asked him to take care of our stuff as we went away for a while. he looked up, expressively blur. and he smiled and nodded.

somewhere between his sitting at the adjacent table and his fiddling with the multiplugs, i became to discover how cute he was. something in his actions - attentiveness and gentleness - enhanced how he look and made me sit up and notice.

i began wondering how mysterious this was. where was he from? he was far too fair. perhaps Taiwan instead of China? what was he doing at the airport cafe for 6hrs over? why did he have such huge bags?

the airport is such a place of mystery. ppl coming from all over and leaving for wherever.

bff and i left at 5. i didn't say goodbye or ask him where he was from.

and i feel a tinge sad and melodramatic.

been a long time since i've liked someone different. and it's the first time i started liking someone in a span of a few hours with hardly any contact.

Goodbye, stranger.

(Katherine: Perhaps, it was just the scene of the airport, you know? if you think about it, if you met him in a different context, you wouldn't even give him a second look lorh.)

----

i've fell for a friend. i've fell for a role model. i've fell for a friend's crush. i've fell for a pop star. i've fell for a fictional character. i've fell for an anime character (HAHA HILARIOUS!) i've fell for a stranger. i've fell for an idea.

back to square one. it's easier to not have feelings.

i'm not nice. i wanted to apologize for it. but i don't think theres a need to. i will just be genuine. it's easy to be nice, but difficult to be genuine.

the mystery of floss

i went out of my room.

i smelled the saltiness of pork floss bread. it was also a tinge spicy because it was spicy pork floss bread. it permeated the house.

my heart melted as i imagined the melting softness of the bread.

i opened the fridge.

both my pork floss bread(s) are still there.

Riddle Question: where did the smell of floss come from? all the windows were close. and all the doors were close.

Hint: No my pork floss bread does not smell like fart.

MATERIAL GIRL

not currently for loan, sorry.

just 4 words, not even heard personally by me, were enough to land me on the crossroads.

i have stayed here a long time.

i have even ignored the fact that i was here at all.

but what do i do now?

do i continue?

wait. have i even taken it up in the first place?

i guess i have.

i wish... ... ... and i hope.

and i pray.

i think i have quite a huge ego. and this is not easy for me to admit. moreover, i just want to make sure it's pure and it's right.

but i think i do admit it now.

aren't i setting myself up?

singular

i don't quite know how to feel about the plural.

do u know how much dancing rocks!=D

fastest way to close me up is to push me.

u got it?

CLONES

introducing, percy jackson zac efron Logan Lerman.

overlooked

Do you know the importance of history?



trace back a string, and you'll find where it came.
before you can conclude a story, you must knew where it starts
before you write, you need to place your pen tip on the paper
before you sleep, you need to first be a wake

history is one of the rare things that is unchangeable.


to tie a knot, you need to put both ends together
when you close a book, the introduction and conclusion fuse with everything in between
i write in full circle
i live in full circle

history, returns, lives on.

MY TYPE!

if there was one thing i could change, i would have danced when i was younger. and never stop.

guard

a distant star. a star too bright to look at directly.

brilliant poet

its the time of the term.


where u hit.





a wall.



and u need.






to eat more.

AHHHHH I"M GOING TO SUJU!!!!!!!!!!!

more musings about future lawyers.

more musings about future lawyers. i don't know if i said this before, but i'm super sexist when it comes to Ds (you know, DISC, Ds - domineering, decisive, leader). I have huge respect for guy Ds - i love listening to them, learning from them, asking them for advice. But i feel super uncomfortable, scared and repelled by girl Ds. and this is a phenomena i think i can actually explain.

we all know guys view and treat girls different from their fellow sex. and hence, guy Ds never had a bone to fight over with me. But girl Ds. even if they don't intend it to fight, i sometimes perceive they are picking a fight alright. RAWR. it just perturbs me when there's another girl D in the room. They are my doppelganger.

Most of the girl Ds in my life - i have gotten used to and have accepted due to familiarity. I've reached a point where i know how to interact with them without entering D vs. D zone and i learn how to be myself without the feeling of substitution in their presence.

but i met a different type of girl D in law school.

man she's difficult. but very intelligent. perhaps i should describe her before i muse. she never dresses up. non-girly. looks nondescript. talks rather fiercely and fierily when she has an opinion. she always has an opinion.

ok, now to muse. before i worked with her, i used to conduct my usual Aegyo (Read: Act cute) on her. i gave her a saccharine sweet nickname (and realized she didn't quite like it). i used to talk to her as a half-acquaintance, half-friend (i.e. we've chatted on msn when i was STILL using msn, we'll chat surface-level things in real life but infrequently).

And den, we formed a project group together. the rest of the group didn't turn up. it was 2 of us. she didn't get much slp the previous night. she ate me up alive. i fought back weakly but caved. i was scared, angry and i told myself NEVER AGAIN.

recently, i had the opportunity to talk to her. and for some weird reason, i wanted to understand her. we went for dinner tofether. she, being highly intellectual, tried to engage me in political and legal discourses. I tried to keep up and participate but in actuality, i was a little sian. afterall, my brain had been burnt the whole day through. i just wanted to relax now.

and den she tagged me in a note, about Apathy, the need for intellectual opinion and Learning, not as grades or memory and "application" (i.e. regurgiation) but real criticial discussion and discourse.

her belief in critical discussion was probably what shocked me in previous encounters with her. apart from her naturally aggressive manner of talking, i realized, this was just a girl who wanted to engage in conversation. there was nothing vindictive or argumentative in what she did.

and i began to see her pursuit of understanding and active engagement as something very admirable. she strove to gain knowledge, not good grades. she was willing to put in effort and dedication and brain cells all the way to ENGAGE. something i always knew at the back of my mind that i lacked and should do something about. i had previously reasoned it away as taking up brain space which i had to save for my studies.

MY STUDIES. what is that even. as my grades plunged over the last 2 years. i ralized my flawed understanding of studies as grades. does the fact that i'm not doing well mean i'm not studying and not learning? or that it is useless? i find i've wasted my Uni education on pursuing a empty, fleeting goal of A+s and maintaining my scholarship. That wasn't what tort law, contract law, constitutional law, asian modern history was about. And yet that was how i spent those knowledge.

today i had to tackle Marxist. I was hugely turned off by the extra amt of readings today. I told myself "get it over and done with.". but having read the note and remembering this Fierce friend of mine - i found myself enthusiastic to learn about Marxist. W/o the usual need of making mandatory notes (Read: Ctrl+C; Ctrl+V) or rushing through in a set amount of time so i can move on to the next subject - but just with paper, a pen and highlighter. And the readings were so clear. tedious (i think i kenna fever while reading) but clearer than usual!

really, to be able to learn is such a blessing. to have brains, the ability to analyse, the ability to process - AMAZING! it'll be such a pity to simply limit the usage of our brains to this in the narrow method we've had ingrained into our beings by the education system.

here's to a less mind-lazy, more conscientious, more hardworking me. =)

schizophrenia

hellooo alll! im sitting on my new bed, under my new reading light using my new netbook. after i type this, im going to tweet for a bit, perhaps youtube. close the netbook and extend my right hand to put it on my bedside table. extend my left hand to switch off light. collapse downwards and die sleep!!!! so awesome. im in love with my reading light. i could marry it. ITS SO CONVENIENT LAH CAN DIE!!!

anyway, i was inspired to write a serious blog entry today. but me, being the schizophrenic that i am, wanted to blog a nonsense blog as well (Ibid)

Well, schizophrenia is quite a good intro to my entry. because my story (or rather, thoughts) are on a pair of bipolars. a black shirt and a white shirt.

im pretty sure most of my Learned Friends from law school don't read this blog (except for one monkey and one cauliflower) so i can blog about Black Shirt and White Shirt in peace.

Black and White are good friends in school. The weirdest pair of friends i know. I don't understand how Black can stay Black and White can stay White when they are together. Their friendship is such a grey area (hurhurhur!)

Both Black and White are highly intriguing to me.

Black first caught my eye, or my ear. I heard of his reputation even before i entered sch. my guy friend didn't like him so he was talktalktalking about it. perfect instigation for me to be curious about Black. Usually, what turns the male species off is potentially what would be highly interesting (Read: i didn't say highly likable). Black looks intimidating and his attitude is rather in-your-face. If he hates the class, it's written all over on his face. In fact, if he hates the class, he'll just not appear. He's kind of aggressive when he talks. Black is a fighter (literally). People hate his guts. I was ever in a particular class where everyone couldn't stand his arrogance, but the prof loved him. I bet he knew. But he didn't care. He was so interesting. He walks into open-booked exams with a pen. He doesn't look like he studies at all. He swaggers like a champion. I am on hi-bye terms with Black.

White is not eye-catching at all. He is rather nondescript. But he's a good thinker. Class participation is generally bleargh to me, but i like to listen to White talk. And it's not always because his points are brilliant (sometimes they are), but the way he puts it across is very nice. White is humble and kind. Super conscientious. A very very good guy. How i talked to White more was when we faced off with one another in "Court". I was presumptuous of my intelligence then. I thought i would win. I lost. But i didn't think much of it. But i guess it sealed the thought it me that White was very intelligent (and i was not that intelligent, HAHA). In fact, i don't have much memories of white. But recently, it dawned on me - what a good guy he is. I can't even substantiate that point much, but he totally radiates goodness.

I'm amazed at how 2 so vastly different people can be gd friends. and im amazed at the wide spectrum of attributes that attract me. although... ... ...

END.
(Explanatory note: White wore a white shirt and Black wore a black shirt today. SOO COOL RIGHT! i'm so sharp.)