Nameless

the Lord has been preparing me for difficulty. a unique difficulty. if i told u the minuteness of the problem i have, u will laugh. or at least secretly think... "huhhh". or at least i think u'll laugh. but the Lord knows me. He made me this way. Even if it wasn't his original design He knew i'll turn out this way anyway.

but the focus isn't on the difficulty (which i wun say here coz it's not convenient) but on the preparation. this God ah, is quite fantastic. he reveals things in perfect succession. and if i'm intune enough, i actually pick up on these, lock in my heart, and realize his master planning later on.

"Suffering" was already a theme on my mind the past week or 2, with specific reference to being a christian walking right with the Lord. of course, this was inter alia other scary and exciting encounters/revelations.

and so i was ready for it. or at least i had the resources to actually be prepared but didn't realize they wer resources post-crisis. well, at least this time i actually came to the realization had resources! i'm getting better at this! =)

u know, i feel like bursting. i want to do so much for God asap. and den, the bursting immediately subsides when u replace my mind with something like work. I'm such a Man. i have a single-track mind. i await the day when that single-track mind never changes.

how am i suppose to be a Lawyer yet root my life in you Lord? How??? pls quickly show me. prepare me in this last year before i'm thrown out there. i'm not scared of them any longer Lord. but i'm afraid i'll drift. =( helllppppppp brace me up now!!! give me the resources AND the foresight!!

im not really concentrating as i write this coz it's a jumble of thoughts from the preceding days and weeks mashed together, spread on top of casual kpop music listening at the hour of 2.36am.

so, byebye. i miss u blog.