i couldn't look.
i couldn't speak.
i choked. emotionally, more than physically.
the words spilled out clumsily like coffee on a shaking table.
they were strung together in all the wrong ways.
i wanted to repeat what i said to clarify and make clear what i meant. to justify myself. to patch the wound my words were re-opening and inflicting at the same time.
yet i wanted to shut myself up. to take it all back.
to stop and forget.
and yet, i never found the rejection i so feared.
i found grace - a display of God's grace, so deep and so healing.
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