A Supernatural Love

It’s been a while since I’ve heard the Lord’s whisper.

It came through vividly on Monday, though I’m sure there were incidences leading up to it…

About, redemption. All souls can be redeemed, no matter how terrible that soul is, no matter how long it takes. All souls can be redeemed.

I was chatting with Chris on Monday about my involvement in youth ministry when it first started and I asked her a very poignant question: “Did you ever give up on me, Chris?”

“Yes.” she answered rather straight-forwardly. She was grinning. But Chris always grins.

“I thought you were CMI. I even talked to Pastor about it. But he didn’t reply me. And so I thought, hmm… ya, I shall not give up on her. So, I learnt not to give up so easily on people.”

At night, I met a good friend I have great respect for and yet, who I once thought was impossible to befriend. She shared a little about how she terrible she used to be before and it was shocking how huge a transformation she has actually underwent. Because before me, I saw a holy woman of the Lord who was a great example and role model for me. Not the little brat she had described herself to be a few years ago.

And the whispers continue.

A million of thoughts flooded my head, or rather, a million of names flooded my head. A youth who didn’t seem to bother being a good testimony. Party animal youths. Apathetic youths. “Smoky” youths and friends.

They can all be saved. When God personally beckons and calls, it is irresistible.

And then, I felt tears well up as I realized how God had personally called me. Me, the most wretched of all people. A girl who cares only for her own image and popularity. A girl who assumes the world revolves around her. A girl who uses people, even the people who love her and whom she loves. A girl who was so self-absorbed, she was going out of her mind. A girl with a horrible personality. A girl who hated herself. A terrible girl. A girl like me.

Yet my God loves me so. He has called me in His own good timing to start the journey of being made anew. Like a magic trick, he is turning my heart of stone into a heart of flesh. He is transforming my self-centered mind into a mind that actually has place to remember names and things that have no direct bearing on my own well-being. I never found it possible to spend time with people just hearing them out (unless I liked them enough to make them want to like me by doing so). Yet now, I’m learning to. I never found it realistic to be happy in youth ministry. Yet now, I am.

I’ve been thinking about my attitudes towards my friends… A judgmental spirit often possesses my thoughts, mentally shutting the door of salvation to this group of people whom I have labeled as immature, blind and hopeless in my most honest of moments.

Yet now I realize, I am no different from them. And God can redeem them as well. And I want to be His chosen channel to shout this out to them – to shout out “God loves you very much and you’re absolutely precious to Him! Won’t you consider giving your time and your attention to Him? Won’t you consider building a relationship with Him?”

Be gone judgmental spirit.

I’ve been enjoying my time so much with some of the people I never once could enjoy myself with because I just couldn’t understand them. I still can’t understand them. Sometimes, I even get irritated with them or have conflicts with them. And yet, I now love them. It’s a supernatural love working in me. A love I have received, I now can give.

I love you, my Lord and my Saviour. Won’t you allow Him to love you too?