i love kids

u know how ur often dissatisfied. not filled.

when u're having fun or relaxing, Doubt whispers to u that This is not Life. and This is not How it is supposed to Be.

when something gets in ur way, Violence and Anger swells up in you in disproportion. (a youth was telling me about how she went to a concert, was pushed from the left and hence fell a little on the girl on her right. the girl screamed vulgarities non-stop at her. siao)

where u're stressed, a Question Mark suddenly appears and Meaning disappears.

and we push them aside. We push all that aside.

i've wanted to do more with my life. i've admired those who go all out to serve. with the push and pull all neatly set in place... why haven't i done anything?

i thought these things through as i walked the long way to the Buona Vista MRT Station. It distracted me from Violence and Anger's arrival upon losing my way when i sillily tried to find a bus stop instead of walking back the same way i came from.

i continued thinking as i sat on the train and played the car game on my new phone that i was completely hooked onto.

i continued thinking as my stomach growled and i bought soyabean with pearls from Mr Bean home to drink.

i told myself when i reach home tonight, i want to blog and i want to search for opportunities on the net.

and yet, when i stepped in. immediately, Doubt, Dissatisfaction and Question Mark retreated into its corner. I was back in my comfort zone with a facade of tons of things to do. I was back in the comfort zone that kept me comfortable with discomfort and kept my desire to break free confined.

i had to compel myself to write this. to tear myself away from twitter and youtube to write THIS.

what am i doing with my life.

i'm going to learn to let go of these a bit more and takeup things more worthy of my time.