Nameless

The anticipation. Of checking my essay grade.

smart friend: “You know my essay, I did it the night before it was due. And it’s damn funny lah. I checked my grade and it was an A-. So I was telling my friend how no need to do numerous drafts also can get A-.”

I didn’t do numerous drafts. But I spent hours on it.

Would it be 60+? 70+? 90+?

The voice that used to convince me I would get an A has softened quite abit in university.

It has started occurring to me how doing well is really not the be all and end all. Afterall, I don’t want to be top shot lawyer or earn big bucks. And it helps that I don’t have these goals. Because then my want for gd grades has no rational “end goal”

Yet. Old habits die hard.

And as I try to access the system. I pray. I have another paper due on Friday. I don’t want to be discouraged. Here goes.